Thursday, October 01, 2009

Shaking things up

This is always how it is with my life. This is always, always how it is.

There is a lull.

It is quiet.

There is a lull and it is quiet and I cannot. stand. it.

So I fill my life up. I apply for graduate school. I return to my job as a skating instructor. I decide not to renew the lease on my apartment.

I take my snow globe life and I shake it. I shake it violently and then I marvel at how quickly it all whirls around me.

I do it over and over again.

I can't explain what it is that compels me to do it. What draws me to shake as soon as it all settles.

But I wonder if, some day, there will be a situation that is so perfect - a time where I am so content - that it will transform me.

That's what I want. To be so damn happy with my life that I want to tiptoe around it. Just to be sure that it doesn't change.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Damn, if this isn't the struggle, I don't know what is. I always think that when I change things or try something new, it's usually a sign that I'm not completely happy. Oh, well. Such is life, right?

my life is brilliant said...

I think it's good to stir things up. You're not afraid of a challenge, and you're not afraid of change. Your life will definitely never be boring. It doesn't mean you're unhappy.

I'm sure someday you'll find yourself exactly where you want to be. But I hope even then you don't tiptoe. Stirring things up JUST A LITTLE from time to time keeps things interesting. :)

 
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