Sunday, October 04, 2009

Not cool

"I don't think I can go out with Colleen anymore," I blurted into the phone as soon as Lucy picked up. No greeting. Just the truth.

When we were in Ohio, Colleen was a mess.

Two weekends later, she repeated the same stunt. Minus the one-night stand.

We went out for my birthday. And, at 1 AM, I was dumping a bowl of her vomit down the sink.

She doesn't mix well with alcohol. That is the easiest way of putting it. When we were getting ready to leave for the night, she was going on and on about how she was going to do a better job of pacing herself. "I'll drink exactly what you two drink," she said. "...except for just a tiny bit more, because I have a higher tolerance."

And if a "tiny bit" means four or five drinks then, yes, she stuck to that plan.

It was awful. Absolutely awful.

When we go out with her, Lucy or I usually take on the role of Colleen's babysitter. Watching what she drinks. Watching what she says. Watching what she does. It is exhausting. Inevitably, at the end of the night, whichever one of us didn't babysit Colleen thanks the babysitter profusely. The babysitter always sacrifices a good time. And Colleen usually gets pretty damn drink and unruly anyhow.

She hasn't always been like this. Sure, she wasn't ever the most responsible drinker. But it wasn't like this. It wasn't getting ridiculously shitfaced every time she went out.

I despise how she's acting, how much she is drinking, the choices that she chooses to make. And I feel like, by going to the bar with her, I'm condoning her choices.

I don't go out with her so that I can go to bed feeling guilty.

I can't go out with her. I honestly can't do it anymore. Something must change.


Anonymous said...

That is not cool at all. I would feel exactly as you do. Yes, it happens, but not every.single.time. It shouldn't, anyway.

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