Thursday, October 22, 2009

April showers

I’ve known that Lucy occasionally hangs out with ex-friend April.

April, who was in Lucy’s wedding. April, with the toxic, engaged (to someone else) boyfriend. April, whose friendship with our group of girls went down with a dramatic temper tantrum at a bar. April, who crawled back to Lucy for counseling after the toxic, engaged (to someone else) boyfriend abruptly broke up with her...because he was getting married. Within days.

When April called Lucy for – I guess I don’t know what it was for. Support? – when she was dumped, Lucy told me about it. It was a sad story, honestly, but it was a story that we were all expecting. He wasn’t dumping the girlfriend for April. And, despite what he said, he never planned to.

April was devastated. She called Lucy for help. And, of course, Lucy obliged.

“Don’t you feel used?” I asked her. It was well over a year since she and Lucy decided (in the parking lot of the bar on the night of the infamous temper tantrum) that they couldn’t be friends any longer. April hadn’t made any attempt to rekindle their friendship. But she was happy to use Lucy’s shoulder to cry on when she was at her lowest.

Lucy admitted that, yes, she felt a little used. But that is the kind of person Lucy is. She’ll drop anything for a person she cares about. Even if they don’t deserve it.

April’s breakdown didn’t rekindle their friendship. She got her free counseling and disappeared again. Calling or stopping by occasionally, Lucy has mentioned. I don’t think – but maybe I’m just not told – that they see each other regularly.

When I saw that April had written on Lucy’s Facebook page about them getting together? It made me a little sick.

I’m not going to say anything to her. I don’t think it is my place. There’s a reason she doesn’t mention April in conversations.

But it just bugs me.

April is the kind of person who regularly – again and again (I could recite 5 or 6 examples of this) – “broken up” with friends. She clicks with a group of friends. Hangs out with them exclusively for a year or two. Gets in a huge fight. Cuts off all communication. Rinse. Repeat.

She can’t keep friends.

Personally, I feel like there is a reason for that.

So it bugs me to think that she may be pulling Lucy back in. Not because I don’t want to share Lucy. But because I feel like April can’t be a real friend. And Lucy is as real as friends get.

I just hate to think that she’s being used.


Mrs. Architect said...

That's tough. I think Lucy is just going to have to learn it on her own. :o(

I rid myself of toxic people like that. I have way too many wonderful friends to even bother with crappy ones.

Thisisme said...

sound like April has some maturing to do and Lucy is only going to learn by getting burned ): CRAPPY situation!

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