Monday, March 16, 2009

Sick or lazy?

I'm in bed. Which is pretty much where I've been since getting home from work at 6:10 this afternoon.

I feel...dazed. Muted. Vaguely aware. Slow reflexes. I feel like me with the color turned down.

I can't quite decide if I'm sick or if I am just lazy.

To some (snotty, congested) extent, I am still sick. But the unwillingness to go to the gym and attempt to work out? That seems lazy. The sitting on my bed all night and aimlessly clicking through web pages? That seems lazy.

I'm on spring break (technically. The only difference to my schedule is that I don't have class tonight) and there are things I could be doing. I have a few tasks to finish for my internship. It wouldn't hurt to do a load of laundry. I need to pay bills. And I haven't been to the gym in two weeks, which is entirely inappropriate and uncalled for.

I only have another month of this. Not the feeling sick - I better be done with this crap by Wednesday - but the school/work/internship/move/whatever stress that I'm handling a lot less gracefully than I used do.

And then I won't confuse being sick, being lazy and being overwhelmed.

I do think that I am still sick. On account of the lack of appetite. And because I'd like to give myself the benefit of the doubt for once in my life, damnit.


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