Thursday, March 19, 2009

It took a year

Seems that, in the last 15 months that we've worked closely together, my boss has gotten rather comfortable with me.

14 months must be his "getting to know you" introductory period. We're now --- something else. Coworkers who have worked together for long enough, I suppose. Long enough for my boss to say "you need therapy," only half joking, and for me to take it exactly that way.

My feelings could be hurt, I guess. Except that it is the complete truth. And I really think that he told me that because he believes it, not because he wanted to make a joke or poke fun at me.

"You're good enough," he tells me. "You're smart enough." Maybe I've turned up my insecurities. Maybe he's secure enough with me to be so blunt.

"The finance department hates me," I announced on Monday.

"Tech support hates me," I announced later.

He looked at me like he wanted to strangle me. "They don't hate you," he said.

"Fine. Hate is the wrong word."

I think he's practicing on me. His youngest daughter has, from what I've gathered, a similar people-pleaser mentality. "You're just like Maddie," he'll start off saying. I'm sure he's looking at me and trying to figure out how he can fix his daughter so that she doesn't turn out like me - 26 and insecure and scared of everything and everyone.

She's 11. And probably better off than I was at her age, if her dad is already addressing her neuroses.

Maybe that's not the reason. Maybe he's just trying to get some good work out of me. Trying to bring out my best. Trying to find the diamond in the rough.

Whatever the reason, I find it amusing. Amusing and nice. It is always nice to know that someone cares, even if they can only express it in thinly-veiled jokes and references to their children.


Stace said...

No one could hate you! Plus you're right it is a strong word. :)

my life is brilliant said...

1) I'm sure they don't hate you.

2) I announce a lot that writers must hate me when I give them back their work with all kinds of marks all over it, even if it is my job as an editor.

3) Lots of people could be helped by therapy. Lots of good people.

You don't need therapy. It could help you work through your insecurities, but they're not so drastic that you NEED it.

(I hope that last thing doesn't sound rude. I don't mean it to. If I thought you needed therapy, I wouldn't read your blog.)

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