Thursday, January 31, 2008

Writing about Colin, then not writing about Colin

It has been a painful journey to get here, but it is nice to be at the point where I don’t wake up in the morning and, first, check my phone for text messages from Colin and, second, calculate how many days that it has been since I last heard from him.

I don’t have the closure that I need, but I’m finally moving on. It is a relief to give up that hope. But, at the same time, I have this nagging doubt in my ability to refuse him. If Colin came back with a grand gesture and an apology, if he stepped it up and made an effort, I’d fall right back into it.

But I will cross that bridge if I come to it.

And I don’t want to obsess. How ‘bout we chat about other things?

I really need to break out my camera and post a few crappy pictures of my new living arrangements. While I don’t have even half of my belongings cleared out of my bedroom at home, the new apartment is starting to feel like home.

We had a $340 gas bill this month. Anna kept the heat blasting for the month that I was not living there and, quite honestly, it never occurred to me to turn the heat down once I moved in. Even though it is an old house with rattling windows that obviously cannot keep the heat in. So we sort of deserved that gas bill. It will be interesting (and hopefully not too terrifying) to see what the bill will be next month.

I have a short paper due for my class on Saturday. Very short. Like, five paragraph short. Who limits papers to five paragraphs? In case ya’ll haven’t noticed, I’m a very prolific writer. This concise shit can bite my ass. After work, I am heading to the nicest and most beautiful public library around, which conveniently has a Chipotle just across the street. I’ll grab a quick dinner and then I will start and, ultimately, finish that damn assignment so that I don’t have it hanging over me all day on Friday.

Lucy, Colleen and I have tickets to see Matt Nathanson (with special guest Ingrid Michaelson!) next week. Pretty excited about that. Significantly less excited about the recent realization that I have an exam the next day. Oops.

Here’s something else I’m not excited about: the weather forecast. It is supposed to start late tonight, continue through the day tomorrow. With a total snowfall accumulation of 6 to 10 inches. I’m pretty excited about the prospect of spending 20 hours shoveling my driveway.

I took a 6:30 am yoga class today.

I feel like I am pretty good at my new job.

And that is the end of today’s story.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Soccer

Worse than I thought it would be.

I felt very little. My hurt felt very big.

I couldn't look at him. I didn't speak to him. The few times he spoke my name (indicating that he was going to pass to me), I cringed.

The game meant nothing. I didn't play badly. But I also didn't care.

I was engulfed
feeling worthless
like that naïve girl
who doesn't get the clue
that nobody likes her
not even a little bit

The worst part was the overwhelming feeling that I could walk away from this team - full of people who I really like and respect and enjoy playing with - because of him. Because I cannot be graceful in being carelessly and hurtfully dumped by a boy who obviously cared very little about me in the first place.

I cried in the car.

But it was just a few tears.

D-Day

It’s a big day here at So Midwestern.

I’m playing soccer with Colin for the first time since:
a. he up and disappeared on me for an entire fucking month
b. he sent me an apologetic email full of lame excuses
c. I sent a response to his apologetic email that was firm, short, uncharacteristically honest and neither cruel nor kind.

This isn’t verbatim, but my email went something like this:
Way too little, way too late. I'll still see you at soccer, where I will be civil in your presence. I think that soccer should be the extent of my interactions with you for the time being.

He didn’t email me back. I didn’t expect him to.

It will be interesting to see how this plays out tonight. Who is going to play the role of the scorned lover? Who is the guilty one – the cruel dumper? Looking at it very technically, I am the one who broke up with Colin. I am the bad guy.

I feel guilty. I hope that he feels more so. He didn’t give me a choice.

I wonder if he feels like the dumper or the dumpee.

I wonder how he will handle me being there. Is he okay with it? It seems that the dumper should be well adjusted and calm and at peace with the decision. They should be okay with spending some very casual time with the person that they dumped. And I am. And, due to his role in this breakup (I might’ve pulled the trigger, but it was all him), it seems that he should be, too.

If I can smile at him and say hello and play a decent soccer game, I will call tonight a success. Even if I barf on my way there. Even if I start bawling as soon as I get into my car.

Monday, January 28, 2008

On being a skater

It took from the time I woke up (6:45 am) until I got to work (8:15 am) for me to realize why the right side of my ass hurt so badly. I took a nasty fall yesterday. Tripped up on a sequence of footwork. And down I went in a glorious, graceful fashion*.

It is just part of being a skater. Bruised ass, bruised ego. Brush off and move on.

Just a few weeks ago, I randomly decided that I should compete this spring. I haven’t skated in a competition since 2005 and for no apparent reason I was struck with the inspiration to reenter the competition circuit.

We’re now at six weeks until the competition and my coach and I are just finishing up a new program. Optimally, this program would’ve been completed a month or two ago and we would be spending this time polishing, perfecting and practicing. But I was the one who decided to do this at the very last minute so I really cannot blame anyone but myself.

Yesterday, my coach’s competitive juices were flowing. No, actually, her competitive juices were GUSHING. There is no other way to explain her sudden urge to take a single jump and turn it into a jump combination (basically, you’re doing a jump, landing and going right back up into another one without any steps or turns between) and then decide that it would be really awesome-like if you could just do one step and then launch into another jump combination. At the end of the program.

It will go something like this: Jump-Jump, step, Jump-Jump. All while I am at the end of my music and gasping for air. Cool. Great. Awesome.

I am looking forward to competing, though. I just want to put on a pretty dress and get out in front of the judges and kick a lot of ass.


*That glorious and graceful part is an enormous fabrication.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Reader poll

Who saw the Food Network episode of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives that featured one of my favorite Ann Arbor establishments?

Friday, January 25, 2008

Let me make this clear

I love all of you.

That you care enough to read my blog, digest my neuroses, and give me your advice/thoughts/opinions/deserved teasing/time is a very humbling realization for me to process. I don’t deserve you, but I am filled with unending appreciation for you.

Colin will get an email. He will get it at 5:00 today – because I can play this game too and I want him to sweat it out for over 24 hours. Which is 1/24th of the 24 days I waited to hear from him! I’m also sending it at 5:00 pm today because I am spending the evening with my sister, away from computers and thus completely alleviated from compulsively checking my email for his response (or, more likely, the lack thereof).

I need to do it because I have to see him on Tuesday. And because I will have to continue to see him, on a weekly basis, until the end of time or until the end of my soccer career. Whatever comes first.

I still don’t know what it will say, but it will be terse. And cold. And more than he deserves.

Choose your own adventure

I don’t think that I can ignore Colin’s email.

He is still on my soccer team. We have a game on Tuesday. I want to mitigate the awkwardness. For my sake, not for his. I want my feelings to be clear. I want to be able to look him in the eye. I want to be the bigger person.

And I think that I want it to be a short email.

Help me. Help me figure out what to say. Help me write an email that is painful but not cruel. Or talk me out of responding to him. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do.

Can we vote? Give me your top five. Or your top one. Or something even better to say. Please.

Potential response #1:
Nice to know you’re alive.

Potential response #2:
I have nothing to say to you. Call me when you’ve grown up.

Potential response #3:
I will not discuss your ridiculously selfish actions via email. When you summon up the courage to speak to me as an adult, I will gladly explain to you how, over the course of the last month, I have lost all respect for you.

Potential response #4:
Nice try. Go away.

Potential response #5:
I am incredibly disappointed in you.
I hope that you are embarrassed.

Potential response #6:
I find it absolutely astounding that your life was booked solid for an entire month. Not even time to make a phone call or send a text message! It is shocking. I don’t know how you did it! You must be totally exhausted and overwhelmed. And I’m sure that I would only exhaust and overwhelm you more. Consider yourself free of this burden.

Potential response #7:
No need to apologize. I got the hint. I’m done. You’re free.

Potential response #8:
Do not pretend to care.

I can be civil in your presence. That is it and it is more than you deserve.

See you at soccer.

Potential response #9:
I am not going to excuse your actions. Is that what you were looking for? Is that the reason you emailed?

Potential response #10:
You have got to be kidding me.

Potential response #11:
I should not even dignify your excuses with a response.

Lucky for you, I'm a bigger person than you are.

Potential response #12:
I don't have time for you.

(See? It was that easy. It is called humanity.)

No, really. I don't.

Potential response #13:
As much as I love playing games with you, I spent the last month filling up my life so that I wouldn't notice that you were gone. I'm not clearing my calendar.

Potential response #14:
Way too little, way too late.

Potential response #15.
This email is approximately three weeks overdue. I will no longer accept it.

Potential response #16.
I am sure that whatever you had going on was important. Much more important than I am. (That doesn't mean much. As I understand it, I am not very important.) We'll talk again. When every second of every single one of your days is not filled with better, more important things.

Potential response #17.
Did you actually think that I needed an email to explain that I am the absolute LOWEST priority in your life? Please.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

SERIOUSLY?!

I just got an email from Colin and I WANT TO PUKE.

Dear Alyson,

I am sorry and just want to say hi. I have been caught up with a lot of things and it has been chaotic, so I just wanted to say hi and see how you have been. If you want, send me an email back or not. I hope everything is going well with you and I know that you highly dislike me at the moment.


Who the fuck does that?

I have not seen him since December 14.
I have not spoken to him since somewhere around December 20th.
I have not heard from him, IN ANY FORM, in 24 days.

[Note to boys: if you're going to cut off all contact with a girl, don't do it starting on New Year's Day. It will be really easy for her to keep track of it.]

I want to email him back.
I want to not email him back.

But mostly I want to kick him in the junk.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Madness

I do not know what my problem is.

Maybe it is just that I have too much new (house, classes, job, soccer season, etc.) in my life. Whatever the cause may be, all I know is that I feel exceptionally lost.

The speed with which I live my life oftentimes feels like a race.

I race to squeeze in all of my living for each overscheduled day – getting up at 5:30 am for a yoga class, going to bed at 11:30 pm after a hockey game.

I feel like I have fallen behind in my race. I have fallen so far behind that I no longer know where the path is. I am a little lost, a little concerned, confused and frustrated and really missing the luxury that is a defined and manageable schedule.

I don’t know where to cut. It is all important to me.
It is important that I take yoga class. I feel better when I do. I take it at 6:00 am.
It is important that I continue to work towards my master’s degree. I like the challenge. I like that it will bring me a new career.
It is important that I work. I like to spend money. I also like having a roof over my head.
It is important that I play soccer. It is a social event as much as it is a sporting event and I am not particularly adept at socialization.
It is important that I do my homework. I won’t graduate, otherwise.
It is important that I attend my sister’s hockey games. She graduates this year.
It is important that I figure skate. It is a sport that I do entirely on my own. I crave the challenge of independence.
It is important that I have a little bit of time to do absolutely nothing. Just an hour of Ugly Betty or time to bake a batch of cookies or read Perez Hilton would suffice.
It is important that I play hockey. I’ve made a commitment to my team through March. I will honor that.
It is important that I get sleep. My body wants eight hours per night. This is where I am struggling.
It is important that I spend time with my family. The most important of all.

Tonight, I go from work to class to hockey. I have to leave class a little early to make my hockey game, which has me all atwitter. The professor has successfully freaked me out. I have no idea if the knowledge that I’m retaining is sufficient to pass the class. I really don’t think that I should be leaving. But my team already rescheduled this game on account of me. I didn’t feel I could ask them to do it again. Especially since the rescheduled date would just be on another Wednesday night that I’d have to miss class.

I know that I will find a way to make this all work. I always do. But I am just stressed and overwhelmed and I just want five minutes to do nothing. Not even start a quick load of laundry.

Arg.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Motherfucker

Yesterday I wore a dress in the frigid cold.

Today I wear a charcoal gray sweater and cute black flats and a nice chocolate brown pair of pants.

I should probably add that I did not realize these pants were brown until I sat down at my desk.

Disastrous.

I should not be permitted to leave the house.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Classy lady

It is cold here. Like 9° cold. Like feels like -2° cold. Like my car didn’t warm up at any point during my 30-minute drive to work. Even though it had been running for five minutes before I left.

And so I obviously decided that I wanted to wear a dress to work.

I threw my heels into my purse and wore my Uggs on my drive in. I do that every day. But today I dressed it with a pair of black fleece pants, which I wore under my dress until I got to the office.

It’s a good look.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Crabby

Lucy and Colleen were supposed to come over on Thursday night. Wednesday rolled around and suddenly they wanted to push the visit back to Saturday night – because what else would we be doing this weekend? I was annoyed.

Lucy forgot the directions to my house. They called, nowhere near where they were supposed to be going. I was annoyed.

They brought over a small bowl candy and a bag of microwave popcorn. I made bruschetta and brownies. I was annoyed.

They didn’t pick up wine, as I’d asked them to do. I was annoyed (and happy to take my cousin up on her offer of us drinking some of hers).

They didn’t help me do the dishes. I was annoyed.

I’m irritable lately.

But it is Colin who I’m really irritated with.

I need to keep that in perspective.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

This is why it was hard for me to move

I went to my mom and dad's house for dinner last night after my soccer game. [A quick aside: last week my game was at 11:20 pm and this week my game was at 6:50 pm. What the fuck, randoms?]

Dad cooked, so we ate his standard dinner: chicken, potatoes and a veggie (last night it was snap peas).

Dinner conversation was normal. My sister's GRE scores, plans for the weekend, how much I sucked in my soccer game, the colleague that my mom bitched out. And this gem.

Dad: I found the best back scratcher tonight.
Me: (Surprisingly interested in his discovery) Really? What is it?
Dad: I'm not telling you. I put it in the sink.
Mom: (Snorts)
Me: Fine.
Dad: I put it in the sink so that nobody uses it.
Dad: It's the ladle.

I am the spawn of a man who:
a. thinks of using a ladle for a back scratcher.
b. uses a ladle for a back scratcher.
c. is excited about using a ladle for a back scratcher.

I should have lower expectations.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Finally!

I have internet in my apartment. (It wouldn't be such a big deal if I hadn't switched out of a job where I had 80% more time to fuck around.)
I took a yoga class this morning. (Which will hopefully lead me back into a routine of taking it at least once a week.)
I bought extra storage for our cabinet deficient kitchen. (I paid more than I would've liked to.)
I spent a night doing "roommate things," which Anna has been aching to do ever since I moved in. (Roommate things, as it turns out, is doing out to dinner and to Target.)

Now if I could just find a little extra time. I have a short paper and reading to do sometime before 9:30 am on Saturday. And work, a soccer game, dinner with my parents on my agenda.

And then there's all ya'll. I am so behind on my blog reading! I do solemnly swear to catch up. So you kids better be posting something juicy.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Settling in

I still don’t have internet access or cable television at my apartment (the appointment is tomorrow – finally). Other than that severe inconvenience, and the fact that I haven’t moved even half of my clothes, I’m starting to feel at home.

My initial misgivings were mostly ridiculous, fueled by a bad cold and a case of Too Much New at One Time. I was overwhelmed.

This living situation will be good. It is almost like living at home – as Anna and I rarely cross paths. I work 8:30 am – 5:00 pm. I get up at 6:45 am and am usually in bed by 11:00 pm. She works 3:00 pm – 11:00 pm. She wakes up around 9:00 or 10:00 am and goes to bed around 1:00 or 2:00 am. Other than on her days off (and she works every-other weekend), we’re not going to see much of each other. I don’t think it is a bad thing.

I’m working on getting into my class schedule. I am anticipating this semester to be challenging; I spent all of last night doing the reading and assignments for one of my classes, only to realize that I am completely lost. Already. After one class. Great.

My other class doesn’t seem like it will be too crazy hard, but it appears that I’ll have my fair share of work to do. Busywork, that is. Work that requires time that I do not necessarily have. But will find, I suppose. I don’t see that I have any other choice.

I haven’t quite found my exercise routine. I’m going to try to get to yoga at 6:30 am on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Starting tomorrow, if all goes well.

And I’m starting to figure out how to live my life without Colin. I don’t check my phone in the morning to see if any text messages came from him while I was sleeping. When emails pop into my inbox during the day, I do not even entertain the consideration that they are from him. I know that he won’t call. And I am trying to create my own sense of closure, since he has not been decent enough to give even that to me.

Just trying to get it all done. To fit in. To be happy. To maintain my composure. And to keep blogging about it.

Monday, January 14, 2008

What I like about my new job, #1

From my desk, I can hear my former boss getting verbally lynched on her Monday morning conference call. And it is as clear as I am awesome.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Stupid play, stupid girl

He wasn’t at our game last night.

I should’ve been smart enough to check his refereeing schedule. He is sort of big time, as far as refereeing goes. And his big time league has their schedule online. It wouldn’t have been hard to do.

Didn’t think of it.

Found out a few hours before the game, from a teammate who found out from another teammate (who is his coworker).

I was disappointed. It wasn’t that I really wanted to see him – or maybe subconsciously I did – but I wanted to get that experience over with. I wanted to see him, I wanted it to hurt and I wanted to get past it.

Maybe next week.

Instead, I played a decent soccer game. I scored a gorgeous goal off of a phenomenal pass. And with less than two minutes left in the game, I turned over the ball and the other team scored. We were still winning. I hung my head. And a teammate joked, “hey! Nice assist.” It was supposed to be a joke but I did not find it funny.

I stormed off of the field.

I felt stupid.

A bad play that resulted in a goal? Definitely embarrassing.

Less embarrassing, however, than what I’d endured for over an hour. Playing at Colin’s workplace with Colin’s coworkers. In the minutes that I sat on the bench while I kicked off my turf shoes and peeled off my socks and shin guards, I felt like a stupid, foolish girl.

A girl who didn’t know any better. Who is getting laughed at behind her back for being so naïve to think that Colin would change, would settle down, would sustain the interest that he showed for her in the fall. Doesn’t she know that his relationships do not last longer than a season? Doesn’t she see that she isn’t what he wants?

His coworkers can see it. How could they not? How could my sudden absence in his life not be a topic of conversation?

How come everybody else knows, but not me?

Friday, January 11, 2008

2008

Last year, I broke into 2007 with a gazillion resolutions in hand. I did a damn fine job of sticking to them and holding myself accountable for them for the first ¾ of the year. And then I got into school and moved back home and all hell broke loose, basically. I didn’t even keep track of my resolutions in December and I haven’t (and probably won’t) done a full year recap.

I’m taking a different approach in 2008.

I’ll take one resolution, please. And make it attainable.

I need to get my finances in order. And I need to do it in 2008, before I do any more damage. Because as fun as living beyond my means is (I seriously love buying...absolutely anything) the constant worrying about money really cancels out that short-term fun.

I haven’t quite figured out what I want to do or how I want to go about it. More money in my savings account, obviously. Less money on my credit cards. Make a budget. Live by the damn budget that I put in the time and effort to make. Make at least some contribution, even if it is pathetic and small, to my Roth IRA.

Truthfully, I just need to be more conscientious about my money and where it goes and why I don’t have any.

I’m 25. I don’t want to live like a college student forever.

I just want to look and feel like a college student forever.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Quickly

(Because I’m terrified to be caught blogging in my first week of work)

I’m finally getting better.

I’m getting accustomed to my new living arrangements. Anna works afternoons at a hospital, so I will rarely see her. I’m almost living alone.

I have my New Years Resolutions in my head. Once I have cable and internet, I’ll get them onto my blog.

Excited that there’s a new Gray’s Anatomy tonight; depressed that it will be the last new episode for, like, ever.

On Friday, I’ll see Colin at our soccer game. It will be the first time I’ve seen him since DECEMBER 14. Not sure how that is going to go with him, but I can guarantee that I will avoid eye contact, smile and pretend nothing is wrong. Awkward.

My mom and dad broke my dinosaur of a tube television when they were attempting to move it to my apartment. I am now in the market for a new TV, a luxury that I really cannot afford but will buy anyway (especially since my dad said he would pay for half of it).

No matter how you look at it, my finances are currently in ruin.

I started classes yesterday. The professor basically came out and said that the class would blow, it would be hard and unpleasant but it is required so we’re just going to have to get over it and suffer though. Not exactly what I wanted to hear.

I will spend the week praying that my other course will be easier, thus giving me a more manageable semester.

Other than that, I am just plugging along and doing what I have to do. Going through the motions. Trying to figure out if maybe I’m a little depressed.

Monday, January 07, 2008

Perspective

I was not impressed by my workday.

Learning that my forner boss is using me as the scapgoat on which to blame all of her problems enraged me.

This wicked cold annoys me.

And spending nine hours in foreign territory is always exhausting.

But then I found out that my cousin and her mom had locked themselves in our attic for an hour.

And I felt less bad.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Homebody 101

My dad was casual when he asked me about it. “You don’t really want to move out, do you?” He (and everyone else on this green planet, including SuperReader Staci) noticed that I have been dragging my feet on this move.

It is true. I am less than enthusiastic.

It has nothing to do with the location or the apartment or my roommate/cousin. It has everything to do with the rest of my life – all of the changes that have happened as of late with my job and Colin and the traveling and school and the holidays and I haven’t been to yoga in at least a month and the lack of routine and, ugh, everything.

Moving will complicate my life. It will be a temporary complication, but a complication nonetheless. I will spend my first night there tonight. And tomorrow I will have to rush-rush-rush because I have no idea how long it will take me to get to work. And work will be more stressful because I haven’t been through the Monday morning routine. And my first day of classes is tomorrow. And I am sick and I am tired and I have hockey tonight.

It makes me want to cry. Just a little bit.

I feel unprepared. All of my furniture is there and I feel unprepared.

Silly.

I must have some sort of developmental deficiency that makes me feel, at 25, perfectly content with living at my mom and dad’s house.

It is either that or a really great family relationship.

I’m spending the night there, but I’ll be back later this week. Probably on Tuesday, again on Friday. Mom and I are going to Meg’s hockey game on Saturday. We’re having dinner at Grandma’s on Sunday.

It isn’t like I am moving out of the state.

Just leaving the nest. Not even for the first time. [And, unlike last time, I’ll be a cool half-hour from home. And a three-minute (literally!) drive from Aunt Marie.]

I am such a dork and a loser. Especially when I am sick, tired and busy.

Saturday, January 05, 2008

Blogging from my deathbed

Last day at work.
A very long afternoon readying my apartment for really, truly moving in.
Canceling plans with The Girls because I still feel craptastic.

This is what makes me feel better:
1. My new sister, Blue.


2. This "prom picture" my cousin and I took on Christmas Eve. He's wearing a monkey mask that our cousin the actress wore in the show she's in.

Friday, January 04, 2008

Messy

I shaved my right leg but not my left, if that gives you any idea of what a hot mess I am.

Life is moving a little too quickly for my liking.

There is a lot of change taking place in my life; I am having a hard time keeping up.

I started my new job yesterday, though I return for one last day at my old job tomorrow. The environment is very different - quiet and businesslike and without the constant distraction - but I think that I made the right change. I expect that I'll be busier which is good in terms of giving me a challenge and mitigating my boredom and whatnot and bad because I will no longer be able to do my homework, pay bills and blog at work.

Still haven't spoken to Colin. We exchanged text messages at midnight on New Year's Day. I told him that I could be finished being mad at him if he could be done being absent and distant. He told me that he was sorry and that he would call to explain.

He hasn't.

I start classes on Wednesday. I just put my tuition on my credit card, which is amongst the worst feelings I have ever had. Debt. Ugh.

While she was home over her very short semester break, Meg was sick twice. During this same time period, my dad was sick once and my mom was sick twice. Miraculously, I remained healthy. This string of good luck has come to a crashing halt. I went to sleep at 9:00 last night. I spent today in a haze. I rubbed my nose raw with how many times I used a tissue during the two hours I skated this morning. And I cannot bring myself to pack my lunch for tomorrow because I feel so craptastic.

I totally deserve it, for how much I have overextended myself lately. But it still sucks.

My parents are moving the remainder of my furniture into my new house tomorrow. I guess I'll have to start sleeping there.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Short on time

I need to write about my 2007 resolutions.
I need to write about my 2008 resolutions.
I need to write about Christmas.
I need to write about my former coworker Kevin, his wife and their darling new baby.
I need to write about my unusual need to tell everyone about how fed up I am with Colin.
I need to write about starting my new/old job at my new/old office tomorrow.
I need to write about the New Year's Day brunch Lucy, Colleen and I hosted.
I need to write about my very gradual move into my new place.
I need to write about my bitch of a drive to work this morning.
I need to write about how fast the holidays went by and how sad I am that they're already over.
I need just a little more time.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Just out of the starting gate

I should be exhausted. I am 25 – which I think is still relatively young – and it is New Year’s Day. Any respectable 25-year-old goes out and has a raging good time on New Year’s Eve and pays for it on New Year’s Day.

I’m paying for something. But it isn’t for a wild New Year’s Eve.

I’m paying for doing too much. Doing too much is a very appropriate way to end 2007; it is how I spent my entire year.

I worked a full day yesterday. A full, busy day. We had a big event at work, with hundreds of busy people all up in my shit. But my sister was there, participating, and it made the day much more tolerable. She kept my mind off of the trivial annoyances, like how I spent the entire day on my feet, like how my boss randomly showed up even though she was supposed to be on vacation, like how I didn’t have time to eat a single thing.

Within an hour of getting home, Meg, two of her friends and I were heading off to the Red Wings game. Though the home team lost, we managed to have a good time. The seats were great, it was fun to watch the game with people who understood it well, and it felt heavenly to sit for three hours.

After the game, I went to Lucy’s house. Nothing exciting going on there, I’m afraid. We drank a bit of wine and told silly stories and interrupted ourselves to briefly celebrate the arrival of 2008. It was blissfully low key. I had no expectations. I could not be disappointed. That’s how I like it.

I left before 1:00 am, into a thick snowstorm. I didn’t go home. I went to the grocery store.

Not cool. And also not an option.

The Girls (minus April, who has officially quit the club) invited our families over to Lucy’s for a New Year’s Day brunch. And both of my contributions to the meal needed to sit in the refrigerator overnight.

So I went to the grocery store, dragged myself home, whipped up a baked French toast and an egg casserole and crawled into bed.

My legs were aching.

And they were still aching when I got up at 8:00 this morning.

And they ached all during our brunch (which, by the way, was fabulous and really fun).

And they ached when I retreated with my laptop and my new iPod Nano to Mom and Dad’s room.

They’re feeling better now that I have a nap and a few sedentary hours of college football under my belt.

[Speaking of college football: who will win the Capital One Bowl? My Wolverines? GFF’s Gators? There are nine minutes left in the game and it is still too early to tell. Fantastic game. Much preferred to the Michigan bowl games I’ve suffered through on New Year’s Days of recent memory.]

Tired but happy. Exactly how this first day of 2008 should make me feel.
 
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