Monday, July 28, 2008

A dose of realism

I saw The Athlete today. First, I saw him playing. OMG. Panty pudding. It was pretty much the hottest thing ever. Love.

Then, I got to actually interact with him. OMG. Awkward. He was picking up a few things from me. We’re in the basement, in the storage room, and he’s like “yeah, so, sorry about the late night phone calls.” And I’m all “oh, it’s sweet. I’ve heard worse.” And then it was just like – yeah.

I sent him a text a few hours later. It just occurred to me that, when you apologized about Friday, I only made it more awkward. So sorry about that. It’s cool. All in good fun. And sorry for being too boring to come out.

I got a somewhat generic, but sweet, response back. And I’m just going to leave it at that.

I don’t want to push it.

I would rather have him not think that I’m a freak, shoot him a few emails while he’s gone and give it a try when he gets home next spring than throw myself at him so that we can have one good night before he’s gone for 8 or 9 months.

And I don’t really want to feel like I’m waiting for him to come home. If he kisses me even once, I know that is exactly what I will do. And I shouldn’t. I waited around for Colin for three years. I’m not doing it again – especially for a boy who it is physically impossible for me to be near for such an incredibly long time. I can’t do that.

So – I will see him tomorrow. And then I will be here and he will be there. He can do what he wants with whomever he chooses. I’ll do what I want with whomever I choose. And, when he gets back from Europe in the springtime, maybe... maybe I’ll see him. And I will be talented and – obviously – adorable. And maybe something will happen.


Stace said...

awe it was awkward. . i hate awkward. . . well you know there are a million fish in the sea and who knows what's going to happen while he's gone, you may get swept off your feet, proposed to and married. :) xoxoxo

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