Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Rookie mistake

My day wasn't that good. My day wasn't that bad. There was no reason - one way or another - for it.

I was sitting on my bed, laptop across my legs. I was doing homework. Well, I was doing equal parts homework and Facebook.

My problem, I think, was that I was wearing a t-shirt from Colin's work.

It cursed me.

One minute I was typing away for my management class and the next minute I'm on Colin's MySpace page. I haven't been there in a month...six weeks. Maybe closer to eight.

I have been really good. I don't particularly miss him. I generally lack any desire to see/call/stalk/text/email/physically assault him. I don't drag the weight of my disappointment behind me everywhere I go.

It's been good for my back. Good for my heart.

I have been looking forward to completely healing.

I think, often, about how this summer is the best thing that could have happened to me. I will not, barring a strange twist of fate, see him at all between now and September.

The optimism was high. I thought I was totally through with him.

And then I get stupid, I blink and I am at his MySpace page.

Just for a second.

I didn't learn anything. I didn't feel much of anything.

Except overwhelming annoyance with myself.

Operation: Colin-Free Through The Summer 2008 (MySpace included).

Starts today.

Stay tuned for updates.


Accidentally Me said...

Well, everyone is allowed some slip-ups. There is no crime in occasionally checking up...it is just the multiple-daily stalking visits that would be a problem.

I like the Colin-free Summer Plan, though...that is probably a good idea!

Oh, and some purely physical, completely casual contacts with some other boys wouldn't be such a terribly idea, either:-P

[Don't listen to me...I am a terrible influence...]

Stace said...

I feel your pain. I'm cursed too. I try not to be and boy do I try hard. Oh well I think time will heal wounds and we'll be fine. Keep your head up. It seems to be working for us. :) xoxoxox

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