Wednesday, December 05, 2007

50/50

I don’t quite understand
How unsure I am Colin and I

I have days when we will be married
In just a matter of time
And days when I am not certain that we will last another day
And not sure that I want us to, either.

I can’t quite distinguish my good judgment – about who would be good for me – from my desire to protect myself from all of the pain that the vulnerability of a relationship opens me up to.

I am equal parts enamored and terrified.

How long does this stage last?

When will I stop glancing over my shoulder?

How do you allow yourself to fall head over heels if you’re always hanging on for dear life?

I don’t get this.
I don’t understand me.

I just want it to work.
And to know that it will continue to.

3 comments:

OC said...

There are no magic answers, unfortunately. Once those questions get answered... there will be new ones. That's part of relationships.

Accidentally Me said...

I am sort of joing mid-stream here...but it seems like a lot of doubt for this early in a relationship. Usually things are perfect at this point and the problems arise later...maybe that is a sign?

Stace said...

I think it's b/c it your first real relationship. But I think it's a matter of just having faith. You'll be fine. Take it one day at a time. But if you think more negative than positive maybe you should think about you 2 again.

 
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