Wednesday, December 05, 2007


I don’t quite understand
How unsure I am Colin and I

I have days when we will be married
In just a matter of time
And days when I am not certain that we will last another day
And not sure that I want us to, either.

I can’t quite distinguish my good judgment – about who would be good for me – from my desire to protect myself from all of the pain that the vulnerability of a relationship opens me up to.

I am equal parts enamored and terrified.

How long does this stage last?

When will I stop glancing over my shoulder?

How do you allow yourself to fall head over heels if you’re always hanging on for dear life?

I don’t get this.
I don’t understand me.

I just want it to work.
And to know that it will continue to.


OC said...

There are no magic answers, unfortunately. Once those questions get answered... there will be new ones. That's part of relationships.

Accidentally Me said...

I am sort of joing mid-stream here...but it seems like a lot of doubt for this early in a relationship. Usually things are perfect at this point and the problems arise later...maybe that is a sign?

Stace said...

I think it's b/c it your first real relationship. But I think it's a matter of just having faith. You'll be fine. Take it one day at a time. But if you think more negative than positive maybe you should think about you 2 again.

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