Monday, August 20, 2007

Something must be changing


I didn’t expect that a week away from you would feel so foreign. Life was disrupted. Previously unbeknownst to me, you – the emails you send me when you get into work, the phone calls when I’m heading towards bed – are how I gauge my days.

I felt like I’d lost my compass.

I didn’t realize how much I had integrated you into my life. We haven’t had the easiest time; I thought that I had been keeping you at a safe and comfortable distance. When did this happen? How did you become such an important part of my life without my realizing it?

You called me last night. I was in bed, wearing polka dotted pajama pants and a UM football t-shirt, reading the book that I can’t quite decide if I like. You’d just been at dinner with your family, celebrating your younger brother’s birthday.

I mentioned that I might be driving back home tomorrow. I forgot my laptop at Mom and Dad’s house. And you’re not working late. Hint. Hint. Hint, hint.

You offer to pick up my laptop and meet me halfway. (Clearly you have learned something from when I was bitching about my friends this weekend.) But you’re already working an 80+ hour week. I refuse. That extra half-hour of sleep will make a difference.

You tell me that your mom lectured you at dinner. She said that you still had to make time to be social.

And then your 16-year-old sister retorted with a zinger along the lines of “yeah! Mom wants grandkids to spoil!”

There were a thousand ways I could’ve responded. I didn’t push it. We joked that our mothers must be in cahoots. Left it at that.

I went to sleep happy. With my heart lodged in my throat.


Kate said...

Nice work Aly, not pushing it.

It is really funny how they get under the skin in ways you don't even think of, how a text message or an email that is sent semi-regularly becomes a way to measure time.

And now I sound like "Rent", the musical. Measure your life in love. Heh.

The exam went fine. Thanks for the well-wishes. Rick is on his way over here to have lunch with me, acting like everything is fine. So we'll see.


Laurie said...

Awwwww. I am happy for you!

Stace said...

"social" does that mean we are getting somewhere? :D

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