Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Thinking

That maybe I was a little too vulnerable. Too nonsensical. Too irrational.

I was a bit out of control. Scary.

Confused and confusing.

He knew something was awry. He offered his help, his presence...himself.

I pushed him away. Continued.

I didn’t know what I was doing or why I was doing it. He couldn’t be expected to.

I wasn’t fair to him. I talked in circles. Avoided making admissions, explanations, excuses.

He should have told me. Thrust the truth in my face. Pointed at my behavior. Called me out on it.

He didn’t.

I continued to dig.

I should erase the text messages from my phone. Force the memories from my consciousness.

It wouldn’t help.

He’s the one who needs to forget.

He is so forgiving.

But I cannot help but wonder and worry.

Maybe I ruined it all.

1 comments:

Stace said...

I hate it when I'm mean and then I think about it the next day. OUCH! Good Luck.

 
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