Wednesday, June 06, 2007


I think I just ruined Lucy's birthday.

Alexa, Colleen, April and I have been emailing back and forth, planning for Lucy's birthday, for a week or so. We're going out on Saturday night, but we couldn't come to a decision on what we wanted to do.

I called Alexa on her way to work this morning and we firmed up our plans: she and Colleen would take Lucy (and Chet) to dinner. Colleen and I (who can't go out until later) would meet them at Our Favoritest Bar. I would bring a cake. We would spend a generous portion of our evening at Our Favoritest Bar. And then we'd go to a Chinese restaurant that has excellent late night dim sum.

I emailed April with our plans. And she emails me back with the following:

From: April
To: Aly
Sent: Wednesday, June 6, 2007 10:37 AM

I think the plan is semi disappointing. There is a lot of eating involved. Dinner, cake, dim sum. How is she going to get any booze in her? Since I won't be participating in the dinner I guess I can't say no to that, but why go to dinner if we are doing dim sum? I think Our Favoritest Bar is a little disappointing for her bday, but I guess I'll just go with it. I thought I would share my opinion. Now I'll just leave it up to you ladies.

First: What the hell is wrong with eating? Lucy likes to eat.
Second: What is wrong with Our Favoritest Bar? We like it. IT IS WHY WE GO ALL THE TIME.
Third: You've done nothing to participate in the birthday planning except to ask how much this is going to cost you. Why wait until we make plans to give us your opinion?

I was immediately very annoyed.

It took all I had in me to wait an hour and cool off a bit before replying to the email.

Maybe I was a little too harsh.

From: Aly
To: April
Sent: Wednesday, June 6, 2007 11:35 AM

If the Our Favoritest Bar (which is, essentially, our PLACE) will be so disappointing, please feel free to suggest an alternate bar for us to go to.

If my memory serves me correctly, we tend to have more fun at Our Favoritest Bar than we do at other places. Perhaps I'm just being idealistic. But if we're going to end up at Our Favoritest Bar anyway (and we usually do), I thought it would be easier to cut out that first bar that we never really have all that much fun at. It would also make it easier for the larger group. More people = more cars = more confusion.

In choosing the Our Favoritest Bar, I was also taking into account the fact that both you and I are coming from other locations. I'll get to a bar that is five minutes from my parents house much faster than I'll get to a bar that is 40 minutes away.

But I will go where I need to go. Just name the place. Whatever and wherever the ideal birthday bar is, rest assured that we can get plenty of booze in Lucy between 9 or 10 and 1 am, when we would leave for dim sum. And, just for the record: the Chinese restaurant serves alcohol.

I'll let Alexa know to forgo the dinner she and Colleen wanted to take Lucy to. We wouldn't want to be too indulgent.

I am definitely not one who enjoys having arguments via email, but April really pissed me off. I'm sorry, but you need to contribute in order to have the right to bitch. And you really could have worded your concerns a bit more tastefully.

From: April
To: Aly
Sent: Wednesday, June 6, 2007 11:37 AM

Just count me out

Mature! Just pull the plug. Stay home and pout. Don't suck it up and smile. It's only your best friend's birthday.

She followed it up with a group email.

From: April
To: Aly, Colleen, Alexa
Sent: Wednesday, June 6, 2007 12:18 PM

I won't be attending Saturday night and I will be doing my own gift for Lucy. Sorry. You ladies have fun. I'll still be dropping the picture frame off from all of us.

Yeah. She can pretty much go fuck herself.

I do feel bad, though. For Lucy. I shouldn't have screwed this up for her.

But, honestly? I need to stand up for myself every once and a while. And this happened to be one of those times.


Amy said...

You didn't ruin it for Lucy. It's April's choice not to go. You didn't say "don't come, then." She's a grown up, she can choose. And if she wants to stay home because she doesn't like the agenda for the party then so be it. but it's not about APRIL. (Which I realize YOU know.) It's about Lucy. And if April wants to make it about Lucy, then she'll do whatever. She isn't making any great statement by staying home. What is she going to do, tell Lucy later, "I thought that whole thing was lame so I didn't attend." and that will make Lucy like her more?


Go. Have a great time. Lucy will love her birthday filled with friends and laughter anywhere you have it.

Mrs. Architect said...

omg I am having flashback from nola...ugh!

sorry chica. I'm sure yall will have tons of fun without her. Don't feel bad. Bitches suck and if she had gone, she probably would have pouted and been a bitch the whole time anyone. Moods are contagious...wouldn't want hers around.

Kate said...


April was being totally critical and completely jealous of your awesome plan. She didn't have to be such a bitch in her email to you, either. Then! When you call her out on it, she simpers and sidelines herself. Some kind of "best friend."

Don't EVER blame yourself for someone else's rude, ungraceful and impolite behavior.

Miss Manners
aka Kate

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