Tuesday, May 01, 2007

In the interest of being fair

Colin was at my soccer game on Friday.

I am so practiced at focusing in on the bad things that the good ones - even if they leave me grinning for hours - don't make it off of my fingers and onto my keyboard.

I'm better at complaining.

Like I said: he was at my game on Friday night. I didn't know he was going to be there. I rushed into the facility with just enough time to put on my shin guards and change into my jersey before the game started.

And there was Colin.

When he is standing in front of me, I forget that I have ever felt the slightest irritation or frustration towards him. When he is physically within my reach, I see him with in a soft yellow lighting and a frickin' halo.

I make myself sick.

I am not this vulnerable lovebird. I am too strong and too independent for this.

And, upon sight, I fall apart.

I find ways to redeem myself.

I play tough and I play well.

I make a fool out of one of the men on the other team in a huge way. He stands there with the ball, tries to entice me to make the first move. He plans to slide around me and make me look stupid.

He makes the wrong move; I make the tackle. Hard.

He falls.

Not only does he fall, he falls into the boards.

Knocked over by a girl. A girl who is 5'2".

My darling teammates shower me with thunderous applause. My friendly referee shouts encouragement. Colin joins in the ovation.

I momentarily stop. Smile. Glow.

And then I tackle another man on their team. I make him look stupid, too.

When I came off the field, to back slaps and the adoration of my teammates, I was happy.

When I saw Colin standing at the end of the makeshift reception line, I was complete.

Only for a moment. But complete nonetheless.


Kate said...


1. Did you TELL Colin that you'd love for him to stop by at a game? Is this why he came by?

2. If not #1, did you make it totally clear to him (VERBALLY) that you thought it was AWESOME that he came by. No points for glowing or hinting or kicking ass on the field on this point, hun. Just, "It made me really happy that you came by my game." or "I thought it was awesome that you came to my game" or whatever.

You can do it.

And, Aly? Just because he stops by to see you and you melt in his presence doesn't make you weak nor does it make any of the things he has done that are sucky suck less. It just means that something he did is good. Praise him and hope that he does more good things.

I'm happy for you.
Way to kick ass on the field, too.
High Five, sista.

Amy said...

Exactly what Kate said (boy, you have good readers!) Going weak in the knees is a good thing, and the fact that you did it Friday night is a sign of how meaningful his action was to you. LET HIM KNOW THAT. In no uncertain terms, he needs to know how nice that was. To intuitively expect someone to just know it was a big deal is unfair.

Besides, maybe all this time of you hanging back and not pressing things with him has made him miss you...

A said...

(Sheepishly) Um, no. I didn't tell Colin I would lurve for him to stop by one of my games. And I haven't exactly lavished praise on him for coming, either. Although - seriously - if he couldn't see it then he's damn blind.

Anyway. Thx for the imput. Ya'll are too good for me.

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