Wednesday, November 29, 2006


I scored on myself in my hockey game last night.

For those of you who don't know, I'm my team's goalie. As in, I'm the last person back. As in, if the puck is innocuously dumped into our defensive zone and I go to clear it and I don't consider the puck to be the slightest puck and I have a moment of mental retardation and totally fan on the puck (which is embarrassing enough) and the puck trickles past me AND INTO THE NET, I've essentially scored on myself. 20 seconds into the game.


I could've died right then and there.

But it only got worse.

They kept scoring and scoring and scoring. Most of the other goals weren't my fault, really, but they sure as hell feel like entirely your fault after letting in such a boner first goal.

Somehow, my team (which hasn't scored more than two goals in a game all season) pulls five goals out of its collective ass. With a minute left in the third period, we're winning 5-4.

Girl on team takes stupid penalty.

Score. 5-5.

Girl on team gives the puck away in the neutral zone.

Goalie can't stop a beach ball.

Score. 6-5.

That game sucked more than any game has sucked before.

The rematch is on Sunday.


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