Tuesday, September 05, 2006


I’m lovin’ ...not being hungry
I woke up with a Start at 8:30 on Saturday morning. I’d slept so long (for me, anyway) and so hard that I was painfully confused when I woke up. After a few seconds, I remembered where I was, why I was there and the plan for the day. Lucy and I promised not to call each other until after 9:30 am, so I took my time getting ready.

After I was dressed and beautified, I hopped in Stella and drove into town for breakfast. 9:30 was rapidly approaching, so I opted for a quick breakfast at McDonald’s.

Fast food does nothing for me.

But I needed the protein and I knew I’d be lucky to get lunch that day. So I sucked it up and ate what I ordered.

Looking to add some variety to your workout routine? Try moving around tables and chairs in the sand!

Mostly, that’s what our morning consisted of. We set up rows of chairs in front of the huppah first. Seven rows of seven on each side of the aisle. Then, in an effort to prevent guests from toppling over, we sat in each chair to settle it into the sand.

Arranging tables inside of the tent was a bit of a chore, especially since we had to work around the dance floor and the DJ. The tables were rectangles, which seemed to make it even more challenging. Finally, we arranged them in a fashion that seemed to almost make some sort of sense.

H is for hotel
Next up was the hotel that was hosting the pre-wedding brunch. Lucy needed to drop off her seating charts, place cards and a handful of other important items. We brought Chet’s mom and sister, who had been with us at the beach, along. Lucy went over last-minute details with the staff while Chet’s mom and sister arranged the place cards and numbered the tables; I ironed the decorative placemats that would sit in the center of each table. Our efficiency was awe-inspiring.

S is for surprise
I had my suspicions, but it was never made clear to me that I was giving a toast at Lucy and Chet’s wedding. Until Lucy said, terribly casually, “so, I hope you don’t mind giving a toast tomorrow.”

Of course I don’t mind! I love public speaking without proper preparation!

The Bride and her Maid Put on a Gong Show
We had to drive Chet’s mom and sister back to their hotel. Before we did so, however, we needed to pick up balloons.

And before we did that, we had to get Momma and Sissy Chet some food. They keep kosher and were doing the majority of their eating in their hotel room.

We took them to this ghetto "market" that carried bread, potato chips and nasty tomatoes. Uh. Sorry. Welcome to northern Michigan. Hope you like plain bread.

Bread securely on the lap of Momma Chet, we flew over to pick up $4 of balloons. At a store where there’s a $10 minimum for credit card transactions. Plastic Princess Lucy has to run out to my car to borrow some green.

She returns with the balloons.

First attempt: stuff all in my trunk. We abort this task after nearly slamming both of our arms as we tried to corral the balloons and simultaneously secure the trunk. No luck.

Second attempt: stuff all into the car. With four grown women. Not going to happen.

Third attempt: make out what Momma Chet is saying, in broken English. Oh. She wants us to drive with the balloons hanging out of the sunroof. At 50 M.P.H.? We decide to abort that idea before we even try it.

Fourth attempt: half of the balloons in the car, half of the balloons in my trunk.

Success. Sweet success.

A little R&R
All day, Lucy and I kept saying “if we get through everything and there’s still time, we’ll stop for a manicure and a pedicure.”

And there was frigging time for a manicure and a pedicure.

A slight miracle, indeed.

The entire mani/pedi experience was somewhat uneventful. I watched (with jealousy). I talked on the phone with Colin. Lucy was told that she has lovely long nail beds. We pay and leave. The end.

Lucy’s parents held a welcome shindig at their vacation house on Saturday night. There were a pleasant number of people there. Some old people sang karaoke. The bridesmaids were a tight knit posse.

It was nice. People liked my blueberry muffins.

After the party, I went home, worked on my toast and went to bed.

And then had an idea for my toast. Got up. Wrote some more. Went to bed.

Repeat three times.

Then I really went to sleep.


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