Thursday, August 17, 2006


I wish I could explain this to all of you. How this feels.

I soar incredibly high.

I dip painfully low.

There's no rhythm to it. There is no pattern. Minute to minute it's different - what I would choose.

I'm young, I know. And if it is a chance, it's likely my only.

But this is my only life, too. The only shot I have at loving my family. At spending every spare second I have with the few I allow myself to love. To trust. To know.

One day I will say it.

"What if I had moved to New York?"

"What if I had spent more time with my dad?"

It's a coin toss, at this point.

I'm trying not to think about it too much.

They have to make their decision before I make mine.


betsy said...

We need to have a drink together during all this shizzy interviewing stress!!!

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