Monday, May 15, 2006

My corporate education continues

Early last week, my boss asked all of us to write down our voicemail and email passwords. “Human resources needs it,” she said, “in case of termination.”

I didn’t buy it, but I did as directed.

When I went into work on Friday, I was still pissed off about my “interview.” I fired up my email, as always, as soon as I sat down at my desk.

All of the settings on my Outlook had been changed.

The preview pane was off; auto preview was on. My sent mail was sorted by recipient. My deleted mail was sorted by sender.

I knew, with no doubts, that my boss had been poking around in my email.

She sailed around the corner just as I was realizing that.

I must’ve looked pretty pissed.

“What’s wrong?”

I couldn’t even look at her. If we were going to talk about this, I told her, we were going to talk about it in her office.

“Someone was in my email today,” I told her.

She admitted it was her.

“It’s not that I don’t trust you…”

Okay. You’re telling me that you trust me yet you feel that you have to read my email behind my back?

“…it’s just that you never talk to me. I had to read your email! Why are you so upset? I didn’t find anything bad!”

No fucking shit you didn’t find anything bad, Lady. I could’ve told you that. I would’ve been sitting at my desk with my tail between my legs if that were the case, you ass.

“I just don’t think that you like me.”

So now it’s my job to be your friend?

“You don’t say hello when I come in or say goodbye to me when you leave.”

Okay. So you want a kiss on the cheek in the morning?

“You’re great at your job. You’re awesome.”

THEN WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?

I asked her if she wanted us all to sit around holding hands every day. I told her that it wasn’t her job to be liked. I ranted and raved and displayed far more assertion than I ever have in my life. I was just getting going when…

She kicked me out of her office. Told me to go home.

“Fine,” I hissed. “I’ll leave.” I threw her door open and I stalked out. I was halfway out of the front office when she heaved herself out of her chair and waddled out of her office.”

“Excuse me! You get back in here!” She could’ve been talking to her tween daughter.

Once I was inside, she scolded me. “This is what I’m talking about. You have an attitude.”

“You just told me to leave!”

“I was letting you go home to calm down.” She was backpedaling. She must’ve known that, if I left, I wasn’t going back.

We fought a bit more. She brought up me and Kevin – for the first time to me – basically insinuating that I’m the company slut, the company bitch and, well, okay, terribly intelligent and awfully good at my job.

Eventually, I tired of the argument. I gave up fighting. I went back to my desk, stewed in my rage, and finished out the workday.

My boss was best friends with me the rest of the day.

I wanted to puke.

I still want to puke.

Workplace politics is way more than I can deal with.

And you know what made me the maddest? That my boss was blasé enough about snooping through my email to not even bother putting my email back to its original settings because either:

a. she’s too stupid to realize that, in order to successfully spy on others, one would need to cover up her tracks
b. she thinks that I am too stupid to realize that my email settings are completely different
c. she thinks that I am too stupid to connect my new email settings to the fact that she obtained my email password just a few days prior.

Seriously, lady.

Someone is dumb here, but it’s not me.

Do not insult my intelligence.

4 comments:

Plantation said...

What she did is illegal. Asking for your password and lying about HR needing it would be grounds for dismissal in most companies. Not to mention that she got into your email without any grounds. Is there anyone you can report this to? I'm serious. She should be fired. One other piece of advice. Start looking for a new job. You really need to get out of there. It would be a lot better if you got out on your own terms rather than being uncerimoniously fired for no reason. So please start looking, OK?

Mrs. Architect said...

Everything PT said, DITTO DITTO DITTO! TURN THAT BITCH IN!!!!!

me said...

Oh my gosh, that's so awful. What a bitch (and I know bitchiness)! I know how you feel about a bad attitude. It's just hatred of work in general, I think.

Stace said...

OH. HELL. NO.

Hope you get it situated soon.

 
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