Friday, April 14, 2006

I feel bad about writing this

Aviva is home from NYC for Passover. I'm going to see her today. Maybe tomorrow. Perhaps for a few minutes on Easter.

I'm not really all that enthused about it.

Absolutely horrible.

I probably shouldn't even admit this, let alone write about it. I imagine that it would be best for me to paint on a smile and skip on over to her parents' house. But isn't this blog all about continually making an ass out of myself while showing the world what a waste of oxygen I really am?


So I will continue.

Aviva is on my shit list. I haven't told her that she's on my shit list, so I cannot blame her for being "sooooo excited" to see me today.

Telling someone that she is on my shit list because of her continuous self-centered behavior isn't on my list of things that I'm good at.

So I will pretend like I never noticed that Aviva groaned after I told her that I had an interview in Chicago. "But I want you to move to New York!"

Or that she never wished me good luck or asked me how the interview went.

Or that, when I talked to her yesterday, she didn't remember that I didn't live at Mom and Dad's anymore.'s only been 7 months since I moved into my apartment.

It's a pretty consistent thing with her. I could tell you the name of her coworkers; I doubt she could tell you what city I work in. We talk on the phone almost every week - about her, mostly, but for the required "when are you moving to NYC?" question that she throws at me at the end of EVERY. SINGLE. CALL.

Which isn't annoying at all.

I like her constant hinting that I should drop everything and move to a new city so she can have the comfort of an old friend. As though, if she mentions it enough times, I will break down and move to NYC so she can tell me every detail of her life IN PERSON while, I imagine, still remaining ignorant to where I live and what I do.

I don't know. Maybe I expect too much from her.

Maybe I'm the self-centered one.


Mrs. Architect said...

I think every thought and feeling you have right now is totally justified. Good for you for putting a smile on your face. I'm SURE she doesn't have a clue what she is doing.

You are a GREAT friend.

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