Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Pop stars and other boys who don't like me

Horrifying confession of the day: I watch There and Back on MTV.

It (along with Lisa Loeb's #1 Single) is my newest TV junk food. I've watched the same episode three times over; I'm dying for the weekend marathon.

Horrifying realization of the day: Ashley Parker Angel reminds me so much of Colin. Not physically. But in the way he speaks and in the maturity he lacks. How he acts when he's drunk. How he's just a little too sensitive. The way he admits his shortcomings.

It's too weird.

I absolutely should be over Colin by now. And I'm definitely not. But I really should look into getting to that point where he's just another asshole to me. It's been difficult for me to suck it up and move on, I think, because I've seen him every single Tuesday (when I'm at soccer) since we imploded. And because we email every workday, pretending that nothing ever happened between us.

Frustrating.
Annoying.
Stupid.

My soccer session is over. I won't be seeing Colin on Tuesdays anymore. That's a step in the right direction, no?

Hopefully.

Because I do know that now was not for us. He isn't mature enough. I could only push so much. I had family crisis on top of family crisis. His family was going through their own rough time. He was kicking his roommates out. I live too far away. It wasn't meant to be. Not now.

What I need to do next is convince myself that we aren't meant to be in the future, either. Just because our personalities compliment, just because we've known each other forever, just because we each love soccer and our moms are both advance-practice nurses doesn't mean that we're supposed to marry and mate.

I just wish that it did.

...but only for a little while longer. Then, I swear, I'll give up on him. I really will.

3 comments:

Plantation said...

Please move on already. Colin Schmolin.

betsy said...

Agreed with plantation...Colin Who?

LOVE there & back...cant stop staring at Tiffany's eyebrows, they are so mesmerizing!!!

Stace said...

Getting over a love is ALWAYS hard, but you will deal in your time, and at your own level. Good Luck with that though.

 
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