Wednesday, December 21, 2005

+ (really! I am!)

I hate who I have been this last month. I am so boring and unhappy and, my lord, I am such a monotonous boring and unhappy person. It's a good thing that I don't often check my site statistics (you who are still reading are saints); I really don't need another reason to whine.

Yes, I feel like the world is crashing in around everyone I love. No, I'm not taking it particularly well. But it just might be time to suck it up. Chin up, kiddo, the world is sick of listening to you bitch.

And I'm getting sick of bitching.

...almost as sick as I am of being perpetually unhappy.

It is time for me to look at the whole. December has sucked a hairy beanbag, that is undisputable, but the rest of my 2005 has seen positive change so prolific that recapping it would make you barf.

So, instead, here is the Cliff's Notes version, which will only make you gag: I finally got my first kiss, I had a boy like me for the first time, like, in the history of the world, I thought I was about to enter a long and painful unemployment and I snagged a job before my internship officially ended, I got Stella, my best friend went to Thailand but came back and I got my very own apartment.

Who has tears in her eyes? Anyone? Mom?

This leads me to my resolution for the final nine (9) days of 2005 (and, if you believe this irony, also of stupid fucking December): stop seeing the world for what I don't have. Stop feeling what hurts. See my blessings. Feel the love.

You can cue the chorus now.

5 comments:

Unknown said...

OH, honey. You've been through so much, I'm impressed with your outlook. You don't bitch & whine all the time at all.

And believe it or not, I come read because of YOU and to see how you're doing.

If you're having a hard time, write about it. It's cathartic and healing and we're here to read your writing and you're here to unwind. :)

betsy said...

Sing it sistah! Youve still got some loyal readers out there, hang in there for the rest of 05...what a year!!!

Stace said...

Life is life, we all go through it, although your outlook on it, comes across as a dry humor. You'll be fine, and I'm still reading. Be easy!

A said...

You bitches are fine. I heart ya'll all over the place. Thanks for being here for me! xo

Plantation said...

You know I'm in your corner. I like your outlook. Here's to an awesome '06.

 
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