Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Only

I remember that, after my Uncle Rich died, my mom was somewhat peeved with friends and colleagues because she felt like they were dismissing his death as "only her brother-in-law's." Not as big of a deal as if it had been her own brother, essentially.

I imagine that it is much the same feeling that I have now. I walked into work today, 100% bummed, everyone fully aware of the fact that I had been at the hospital visiting Aunt Marie, and I didn't get even the slightest sense of compassion from the majority of my coworkers.

That sucks.

I'm not blaming them. I understand that the subjects of illness and death and uncertainty are uncomfortable for a lot of people. And I really don't expect them to be falling all over me.

But I guess I just expect to feel a little more support in the air and a little less where's-this-what's-that-why-are-you-ing the second I walk in the door.

I won't let it bother me.

Aunt Marie was in good spirits today. It helps that she didn't have surgery today (she has it every-other day in an attempt to close up and clean her wound); she wasn't groggy like she was on Friday. All she wants, really, is to go home. I can't blame her. Except to go to the OR, she hasn't left her room since she was admitted the Friday after Thanksgiving.

I hate that I wasn't born with the type of brain with a gift for science. All I want to do is help her. With an English degree. Because a stupid fucking sonnet would do wonders for her right now.

Blah.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

You are helping her more than you realize by being there with her, praying for her, talking and spending time with her. People who laugh and socialize heal faster. YOu are in my prayers & thoughts, A.

Anonymous said...

Girl from Florida said it right. You being there brings her the comfort she most needs right now.

~hugs~ Everything will work itself out.

 
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