Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Cramped places, open spaces

I'm sleepy.

I'm not expected to show up at work until tomorrow afternoon; I would like to stay up late knitting and reading, and I would like to get up early to squeeze in a trip to the gym (cardio goes by fastest during Good Morning America) and a load of laundry and a little lazy time on the couch. What I need to do, however, is sleep. I doubt I'll do it. It is rare I afford myself the luxury of a day that I'm not exhausted.

I haven't always been such a busybody. But, in the last year, I've found that I prefer running myself into the ground over leisurely enjoying the finer points of life. I've realized that I'd rather run than walk. Packed schedules are reassuring - wide open days are the daunting ones.

There must be a reason for it.

There has to be something that I'm hiding from. Some reality that I'm avoiding. A truth I don't want to face.

I don't know what it is. I'm not sure how to find it.

I'm afraid that it's me.


Mrs. Architect said...

I hear ya! Run run run run run. I have a hard time just sitting down to watch a movie. I sit there thinking all the stuff I need to be doing and could get done in those 2 hrs.

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