Monday, June 13, 2005

The reluctant jockette

I’m playing softball now.

My work has a co-ed softball team; I was asked to join in April but kindly declined because I have no hand-eye coordination. But, because I possess Godlike intelligence and instinctively knew that co-ed teams generally have an X-number-of-girls-on-the-field rule, I told the captain of the softball team that I would be glad to stand on the field anytime they were short on vaginas.

Which, unfortunately, has been a regular occurrence. And I should’ve realized this when they gave me a jersey (which, at size XL, is often mistaken for a sassy dress) to keep at the first game I subbed at.

So now we’re up to six sports.

[Mom, thank the Almighty that I wasn’t bit by the I’m a Multi-Sport Superstar bug until after I passed my driver’s test.]

Let’s review the list:
Figure skating
Kickboxing workouts at the gym.

Yet I am still baffled, on a daily basis, by my lack of free time. What I want to do, every night when I get home from work, is collapse on the couch and sleep for 13 hours. What I opt for instead is peeling my sweaty high heels off of my feet and replacing them with athletic apparel.

It exhausts me. But, secretly, I like it. Transitioning straight from running at the office to running for exercise drains my batteries. I’m asleep two seconds after I fall asleep. I don’t move until my alarm clock screams me out of bed.

I’ve found that exhaustion handily squashes late night fretting.

Exercise-induced exhaustion, anyway. The good kind.

Second only to a bloating-induced food coma, I’d wager.


Unknown said...

I totally understand what you're talking about... although I'm not as severe as you :) At least you're in great shape & you sleep really, really well at night. And you can eat as many peeps as you want :) :) :)

Anonymous said...

I'm jealous

Stace said...

You do them all at the same time. I spread them out through out the year. I think yours is smarter, b/c you are constantly doing something.

slow poke kate said...

Man the energy! I envy you, I really do.

Plantation said...

Come down to Florida. Let's play 18.

Richpoo said...
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