Wednesday, June 15, 2005

I know it's silly to cry over an object

My grandma has been dead for over two years. Her death tends to sucker punch me.

I found out today that Meg had been at my grandma’s house, which remains unsold because Dad and his siblings are shuffling through township bureaucracy to get her lot split.

She was there with Jay, who is her boxing coach/boy toy and the object of the most dislike for a single human being that I can muster up.

Jay just broke up with his live-in girlfriend. He’s moving out of the house that they were renting together.

And my fucking parents are going to let him live in my grandma’s house.

He’s 34 years old and fucking around with their 18-year-old daughter. And they’re going to do him a favor. A huge favor. He’s 34 and doesn’t hold and steady job because he’s far too busy with the previously-mentioned fucking around with my previously-mentioned 18-year-old sister. Why is Jay's housing the concern of my parents? Why do they feel the need to take the responsibility to provide Jay with lodging? Why in Grandma’s house?

My grandma's house. So thick with memories that it smothers me when I drive past it.

Grandma's house, I know, must eventually belong to someone else. It will be a house filled with another family’s memories.

Letting go will be hard enough.

Letting go so that Jay can have a place of his own that he can screw around with my sister in is wrong. It’s wrong that I can feel.

I’ve already brought it up. I’ve already been blown off.

There’s nothing I can do.

Except cry myself to sleep tonight with the hope that I’ll feel better about it in the morning.

I really doubt that I will.


Mrs. Architect said...

I think you are *completley* justified in your feelings regarding this. I would feel the same way and totally agree with you.

Robert_M said...

That's shocking, you are right to be upset

Stace said...

I can't believe you were blown off. Hopefully your parents will see the light soon.

Katie said...

Wow, that is just NOT right. Selling the house to a stranger would be SO much better than letting it and your memories be corrupted by that low-life.

Carrie said...

my Gram passed away in 1999, and my cousins moved into her house.

I haven't been there yet. and I'm perfectly ok with that.... I think.

big hugs, momma....

Sarah said...

You have every right to be upset and rant 'til your voice is hoarse. Memories are precious.

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