Tuesday, April 26, 2005

The windpipe of the windbag

With the exception of my sister, the two lesbians on my team and myself (and, arguably, my dad), the hockey league I play in is male-only.

Big fucking deal. This bitch is aggressive. I’m not afraid of a little rough play.

I am, however, the smallest person in the league. Last Sunday, it proved to be a slight disadvantage.

It was the first period of play. I was mixing it up in front of the net, because that’s what players with no skill do. The puck got thrown my way and, because of the nature of the game, I got crosschecked.

Across the neck.

I can’t imagine that the opponent who crosschecked me did it with any malicious intent. He wanted me out from the front of the net; his crosscheck would have been benign to any other player in the league, just making contact with the player’s chest padding.

But I’m 5’2”. And he hit my neck.

And it bruised. And it swelled up. And I felt like I had tonsillitis for nearly a week.

When I came home, my neck looking like a battered woman’s, my mother was appalled.

I was in pain, so I might have been stupid enough to admit that I wasn’t wearing a neck guard. And she is my mom, so she might have been irritated enough to call me an irresponsible jackass.

Before my game this week, Mom left me a reminder.

7 comments:

Plantation said...

Hilarious.

ropedncr said...

hey! who're you calling a windbag?

Stace said...

hahahahahaha now THAT is cute!!!! Hope you un-swell soon. :)

slow poke kate said...

heheheheh too cute!! Is that your room? The colors are adorable!

A said...

ropedncr: hahaha

'manda: Yep. And I have pink walls. More 2 than 22, but I love it.

Robert_M said...

Too cute!

Sarah said...

Hahaha, that's excellent!

 
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