Thursday, April 14, 2005

Learning curve

I don’t know how this all works.

I differentiate between what I want, what I wish for and what I truly believe I deserve.

I bite my tongue. I hold my breath.

It doesn’t seem to matter. But I can’t be sure.

I’m afraid that they all matter a little bit. An insignificant, but tangible, amount that piles up into a significant, tangible amount. One that cannot be ignored.

I do not care for games without rules.

I don’t like borders that aren’t clearly defined.

I want us to wear a label. I want us to follow a beaten path. I want to know what’s ahead. I want to know when it’s coming.

I want clarity; I’m wearing a blindfold.

Relying on feel and on instinct, I’m learning how to navigate.

5 comments:

Plantation said...

gonna be a long life if you want clarity.

Anonymous said...

Age 22? A college graduate? Just got your first job and live with your parents. It's becoming a regular situation. It's a good oportunity enjoy life to the extreme whilst waiting for the right partner. H.

ropedncr said...

i can really empathize. i wish i had some great piece of wisdom for you, but i don't. life is lived forwards, but it's learned (if at all) backwards. best wishes.

Stace said...

If you knew everything that lied ahead, you would get bored, and what fun is that?

Unknown said...

22... 23... I think this is a time in our life when we're sorting these things, these boundaries and... feeling? perceptions? No. Preferences? I don't know, just a time when we're sorting it all out in general.

Hope that wasn't too rambly :)

 
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