Monday, April 25, 2005

I chose left; she picked right

I didn’t go to the visitation for Katy’s dad because I wanted to creep myself out.

The queasy stomach was a mere byproduct; I went to support Katy. I went because I know that, in the same situation, I would appreciate seeing her face. I went because it was the right thing.

And...maybe I just went to see her.

I hadn’t seen Katy since her high school graduation party. We were close in upper elementary and in junior high. We drifted in high school when Katy quit soccer and I guided my life by it.

Sometime during that summer when we were awkwardly no longer high schoolers and not college coeds, I found out that Katy was pregnant.

And, somewhere along the Name that Random Class of 2000 Graduate grapevine, I learned that Katy had a little boy. There was a marriage. Two years later, her family welcomed a little girl.

It upset me and it awed me and, truthfully, I didn’t understand it.

I also didn’t acknowledge it. I chose to ignore her decisions rather than recognize them as my own. I regret that.

But I’m not beating myself over it.

For every call that I didn’t make to Katy, Katy didn’t make a call to me. But that’s okay, isn’t it? Isn’t that part of growing up? You lose touch with friends.

You lose touch with friends. But, eventually, maybe something – a tragedy, perhaps – brings you back together.

If it does there will be a lot of souvenirs from our grand, chosen, different Roads of Life to share.

Two beautiful toddlers.

A college degree.

And the shared recollection of the worst fucking weekend at Girl Scout camp that the world has ever known.

3 comments:

Robert_M said...

It seems to me that you are quite hard on yourself.

Mrs. Falkenberg said...

Hi, thanks for stopping by today via Michele!

Unknown said...

You are a beautiful writer & a beautiful friend. I hope you share this with her... she is very lucky to have such a perceptive, recently-renewed friend.

 
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