Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Check out my thunder thighs

Shopping for skating dresses creates enjoyment comparable only to shopping for bathing suits.

...in the children’s department.

Random figure skating trivia o’ the week: every off-the-rack skating dress is a stretch velvet jumpsuit o’ horror, designed specifically to make 12-year-olds look like trampy 22-year-olds and trampy (or, in my case, not so trampy) 22-year-olds look like heroin-addicted transvestites.

And then there is the effect a bouncy, ruffled skating skirt has on a perfectly-normal-everywhere-but-a-skating-competition-and-often-admired-by-both-genders-DAMNIT ass.

I will do the world a service and refrain from further description.

6 comments:

Stace said...

Some people are blessed with asses, others LIKE MYSELF have to work hard to get something that looks like one, other than an extension of my back. :( But it is ok, we always wish what we don't have. :)

Mrs. Architect said...

You are too funny. I remember when I was little, I always wanted one of those outfits with white iceskates (not the doodoo brown rental ones) and be able to twirl really fast in the middle of the rink. Never happened. Either of them.

A said...

Offering up to anyone interested:
a. a little ass
b. skating lessons

For real.

Unknown said...

heeheehee! I can just picture that!

Thanks for the evening laugh :)

Constance said...

What's the difference between a bathing suit and an ice skating outfit? The arms and skirt? I will so have a nightmare about skating in my underwear tonight.

Sarah said...

You're too funny.

Just be glad you're not a ball room dancer, they do look like transvestites (incl. the men)

 
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