Thursday, March 31, 2005

Can we focus, please?

Dear VP,

Let’s do it or let’s not do it. Hire me or don’t.

My boss’s boss’s boss, who also happens to be the president of your company, had all but printed the business cards a week ago. He passed me along to you and the momentum has stalled. Do you think that I’m not right for the job? Are you going to hire me but you’re too busy to do it this week? Is dragging this process on forever fun for you?

There are only so many meetings we can have and only so many times I can tell you that I’m interested. I feel like I’m being a pest. What else do you want me to do? Please let me know because, unless it involves garish amounts of nudity, public humiliation in the form of a tap dance spectacular or the mastery of the Italian language, I’ll do it.

Sincerely,
The charming intern in the basement

2 comments:

Unknown said...

what about... eating a writhing slug swimming in a pool of cows blood? Or dangling your resume (attached to a piece of ham) from your mouth while suspended over a pit of starving crocodiles? or... having to promise to NEVER EAT CHOCOLATE AGAIN????!?!?!?!?

(S)wine said...

Have they stolen your red stapler, too? AND they've moved you into the basement. Damn, the heartless swine!

(surfed over at the recommendation of Plantation)

 
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