Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Buyer’s regret

In the fourth grade, my mom gave me $5 to spend at the book fair. I lost it before class started, cried and subsequently rejoiced when a classmate found my envelope of money in the garbage can.

When I got home from school, I told my mother about the close call.

And she was angry with me for being irresponsible with my money.

I expect much the same reaction when she and Dad get home from their vacation tonight.

Meg and I have been TOTALLY out of control.

Since Mom and Dad left on Friday, I have accumulated:
Three (3) pairs of pants
One (1) pair of brown stiletto boots
One (1) denim jacket
Two (2) belts
One (1) pair of underwear
Three (3) skeins of yarn
One (1) CD
One (1) DVD
Three (3) Wonderbras
One (1) gorgeous, brown, Noel-print, such-a-fucking-good-deal-to-leave-it-would-be-a-crime Kate Spade handbag

...not all on Mom and Dad’s credit card, mind you, but still quite the shocking display of I’m A Dumb, Spoiled WASP Brat.

And to make matters just a little more disturbing: if asked, it is likely that I would ridiculous enough to say that I’m not materialistic.

Ass.

My purchases were not entirely inspired by Meg and her desire to make Mom and Dad pay (literally) for leaving her behind while they went on vacation.

He is partially to blame.

I do this every time that I develop a massive crush on a boy. Seriously. My crushes have the ability to single handedly make the American economy soar. The more he makes my heart pound, the higher the receipts pile up. Because boys like girls who carry Kate Spade handbags.

Because boys can totally spot a Kate Spade handbag out of a crowd.

Kate Spade is sexy.

And I am a tool.

6 comments:

Sarah said...

Haha, well, when we can't control our emotions at least we know we can control (or not!) our spending.

Good luck with the parents...

Anonymous said...

Hilarious. And Awesome. I do that too sometimes when I have a crush on a boy. :)

Mrs. Architect said...

You are making me want to go shopping this weekend. And thats *not* a good thing.

Mrs. Architect said...

Oh, and I'm quite the opposite. I usually shop like that when I get dumped (or have really shitty stuff happen).

Stace said...

I wanna go shopping now, even though my bf could careless what I was carrying, the shopping just sounds good.

Unknown said...

You know, I'm exactly the same way. I cleaned out my closet this past weekend (I HAD to so I could make room for my shopping spree I had in Orlando) and kept thinking, Oh, this is the dress I bought for H & I's first Christmas party, this is the shirt I bought for the first football game we went to, this is the sexy slutty nightie I bought after we first slept together (cough cough 2nd date), these are the f-me stilletos I bought for our overnight trip to Jacksonville, etc. No wonder I racked up so much debt when I met him. I guess it worked, though- he proposed after 6 months. I'm thinking it was the pink/black Kate Spade from Spring 2002. Definitely. That's what snared him, I have no doubt about it.

 
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