Sunday, February 13, 2005

Puttin’ the V in Valentine

I was feeling domestic today, so I took on a second consecutive afternoon of baking Valentine’s Day cookies. I thought that I could bring a plate of delicious baked goods to work and another to share with my skating instructor colleagues. It would be a nice gesture. I would be showered with love and adoration. The world would be a wonderful place.

Yesterday, Meggie and I tackled sugar cookies. Our pink and purple sprinkle-laden product inspired pure and unmitigated delight.

Our cookies were so bloody beautiful that I had to make more.



I decided that the cream cheese spritz cookies that we make at Christmastime would be p-p-p-p-perfect. They’re made with a cookie press and – hello! – our cookie press has a mold for hearts. So fucking adorable that they may bring bystanders to tears.

I make the dough. I dye my hands a festive red while mixing in the food coloring. I press the cookies. I embellish them with sprinkles. I decide that I will make the ideal wife and mother.

My mom was standing behind me when I took the first batch out of the oven.

“They look like vaginas,” she announced.

As she’s a healthcare professional, I let the comment pass without an assault on her character.

“Or maybe they look like ovaries and the fallopian tube.”

I won’t deny that Mom had a point. My cookie creations didn’t come out of the press looking like the innocuous Hallmark hearts that I’d envisioned.

“Oh! It’s a uterus! Definitely a uterus.”

She held a cookie up to her abdomen for effect.



Needless to say, I won’t be bringing them to work tomorrow.

But I was thinking about donating them to a high school anatomy class.

4 comments:

Amanda said...

Ummm, wait. Is the latest post about making cookies?

What is wrong with this picture? Plantation, do you know??

-A Very dissapointed reader.

PS- boo hiss boo.

girl from florida said...

Silly Amanda :)

Actually the [little ovaries] cookies look delish. I would totally bring them into my work... but remember I work in a science lab so perhaps I'm biased.

Sarah said...

Bored, i clicked 'Next Blog' and here you were. Thank you for keeping me thoroughly entertained for the last 1/2hr of procrastination at work.

You're a gifted writer/story-teller.

A said...

hahahahahahahaha.

I will take the hint.

Let the waiting game commence! ...or has it already?

 
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