Friday, February 11, 2005

Accumulating

I’ve never cried over a boy.

...logical, since I’ve never had a boy to cry over.

Seeing as I didn’t have a boy to cry over last night, I cried over them all. Every boy I’ve ever known.

It was a meaningless invitation tag along with him and his friends to a bar near my house. The invitation came on the heels of weeks of flirtation surrounding when we were ever going to go out drinking together, darling.

He always initiated it. The first thing out of his mouth when he saw me. It was he who called me darling.

And he who didn’t call me last night.

I didn’t expect him to. The tail of our conversation was a convoluted mess.

“When are you going out?” “Around 6:00. Call me tomorrow and I’ll know for sure.” “Okay, well, I have to work. But I’ll stop by. I don’t have your number. Call me.” “Your cell phone? I don’t have the num...oh. We have it on file. It’s a 402 number?” “What?” “Your cell number. It’s a 402 number, isn’t it? I know your home number – from when I used to have to call Meg all the time – 363-2218.” “I can’t believe you know that.” “I have a good memory for numbers.” “Whatever. And, yes, it is a 402 number. See you tomorrow, I guess.”

I didn’t expect him to call.

He didn’t. I cried.

Because there are only so many times a kid can brush off being picked last for the kickball team.

That day when she finally lets herself feel the rejection, she's not crying over one last place pick by one team. She's crying over them all.

And so I did.

4 comments:

Robert_M said...

A rules!

Sorry you're having a tough time, I think you are wonderful.

Elle said...

Oh, you just broke my heart with that one! So well put! Hope the weekend brings a little sunshine your way. And if you REALLY want a guy, I have a buffet of 'em down here!

Constance said...

Happy Valentine's? A never called is easier to forget than the ones who do! Prepare youself woman! Half the nation is divorced!

Just so you know, your blog is one of my fav's and I'm not saying that because I'm midwestern. Aren't we all in some sense?

Plantation said...

So glad to see my other 'Allison' friend made it here. I feel like such a matchmaker. Now if I could just find you a fella...

 
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