Sunday, January 09, 2005

Meg 'n' me

It’s a pretty common theme, I think. And I understand it, to an extent. I read it in fiction and nonfiction alike, I see it in heartbreaking segments on TV newsmagazines and Johnson and Johnson commercials, I hear in my mom’s voice. I’ve yet to feel it, obviously, but I think I have a pretty good idea of what it’s all about. I believe in it. The fierceness with which a parent loves a child. The strength of that love.

It makes me think that there’s something right with the world.

If I have ever loved someone to the extent that a mother would love her child, it's Meg. Darling little Meg, my big little sister.

I don’t know how it happened that Meg and I became so close. We played with plenty of other kids growing up; we did separate activities – Meg dropped out of skating and never took dance class and I couldn’t imagine participating in choir or softball. We always had more than just each other. There wasn’t the underlying current of pain or tragedy to draw us together. We just were. Two sisters and two best friends.

I went with my parents to see that little girl play hockey this afternoon. She scored two goals. Oh, how I shimmered with sisterly pride! Did you see that, ladies and gentlemen? I paved the way for that! I forged a trail down the birth canal for Meg, spectacular and outstanding Meg. Meg of 4.0s and shutouts and awards and hat tricks and scholarships and leadership and TKOs. Meg with the Midas touch. My little sister.

When we were kids, Meg grabbed onto an old refrigerator in the garage and it electrocuted her. I screamed for my mom – I had never made such a terrifying wail and haven’t since – and I tried to pull her away from the refrigerator. Electrocuting myself.

It was the summer and we had been playing outside, but once Mom unplugged the refrigerator, we went inside. I brought Meg up to her room. I wanted to put her into bed. I wanted to crawl under the sheets with her and pull the blankets tight over our heads and stay like that forever. I wanted to protect her, to protect us.

I still do.

I nearly lost my mind when my parents decided that it would be okay for Meg to go to Daytona Beach, without chaperones, for her senior-year spring break. My weekends are ruined if her plans include social events with her way-too-old-for-an-18-year-old boxing coach, friends I don’t approve of or activities that simply cannot be as innocuous as they seem. She’s old enough to make her own decisions and her own mistakes, I know, but it’s impossibly hard to let her. To me, she’s only a little girl. And my baby sister.

And I need to keep her safe.

In doing that, perhaps I’m protecting myself more than I’m protecting Meg.

I’m not sure my world could revolve, that I could be, without her.

8 comments:

Plantation said...

A, sweet tribute. You're truly lucky to have that bond.

PS I guess you indirectly anwered my 'age difference' question...

A said...

I reserve most of my age difference problems for when the elder is a 6'7" professional bodyguard/thug/boxer and the woman of interest is Meg. Other than that, I'm cool.

Plantation said...

Yeah, you *are* cool--> ;-)

girl from florida said...

I love this post... it reminds me so much of how I feel about my little sister. There's just nothing to describe it. I just wrote a post on it a few days ago... so it's been on my mind.

I followed your comment on Plantation... and love your blog! I will be back!

Anonymous said...

I hope she changes her mind on Daytona Beach. It really isn't that great, as far as beaches go, but also in environment wise during Spring Break. (Maybe I'm higly bias here because I'm not much into the drinking-puking scene). Unless she has trustworthy and responsible friends, then eh it would be ok, but it seems you do not approve of her friends.

I'll send her all the newspaper clippings of the not-so-good things that happen during Spring Beak down here; maybe that will change her mind =P

Anonymous said...

That previous post was from Darcy. Stupid Anonymous thing haha.

Plantation said...

You're a Florida girl, too Darss?

Anonymous said...

Yep I'm a Florida girl, I go to UCF.

Darcy

 
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