Monday, January 03, 2005

Fear the hype

I’m a timid person. If you’ve read my blog at all, that’s probably fairly apparent. And bordering on painfully obvious, I’d wager.

As is typical for the timid, I find that it is fairly easy to work me into a frenzy about...oh, just about anything. Tell me enough times, narrate enough intimidating stories and it’s likely that I’ll harbor a great deal of fear about it. Whatever, whoever, wherever it may be.

My sixth grade teacher, Mr. Berenson, would tell our class that it was his job “to prepare you kids for middle school.”

Middle school isn’t like elementary school. You have hours and hours more homework. The tests are harder. The criteria are less reasonable. More fail. And you have to switch classes every hour, making getting very likely that an ignorant, unprepared seventh grader will be lost somewhere in the bowls of the enormity that is the middle school and never be found again.

I was scared.

And when I got to middle school, I was fine.

My eighth grade orchestra teacher, Mrs. Kroll, was fond of illustrating how easy eighth graders had it. She did it via high school horror stories.

Six hours of homework a night. Playing tests on a daily basis. Research papers. Pop quizzes on every chapter. Final exams that cover every single thing you’ve learned and count for half of your grade!

I was horrified of high school; when I got to the senior high, I was fine. So absolutely fine.

I fell for it again when I was a senior. Of all of the teachers I’d ever had, Ms. Vicari was the most effective at scaring the living shit out of me.

College would be dark and intimidating and full of rapists looking to drug drunk freshmen girls, skanky roommates who would sell your laptop for money for a plane ticket to Belize and professors who wouldn’t give a flying fuck if you went to class, took their exams or were learning, living and/or breathing.

And then I went to college. And had a skanky roommate. But she didn’t sell my laptop.

It worked out for me, too.

Kind of makes a girl wonder why she bothers with her constant worry about all of this growing up, getting a legitimate job bullshit.

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