Monday, December 20, 2004

We're predictable folk

The colossal mistake my dad makes every Christmastime: saying to my mother, “let’s skip Christmas. It’s too difficult.”

Rant my mom replies with every year: “What the fuck do you do? Why is it difficult to you? You don’t make Christmas cookies. You don’t wrap presents. The girls buy all of your gifts. You don’t clean. You don’t cook. You don’t do anything and I would like to bludgeon you with a yule log, you worthless waste of skin.”

This year’s new variation from my dad: “I don’t like to see how stressed it makes you.”

Mom: “Then help out, asshole.”

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