Sunday, December 05, 2004

Blind

I would be much more comfortable if I didn't have a face.

I spend every day hiding behind my hair. I was blessed with quite the mane of strawberry blonde, curly hair; I hide in it. When my hair is in its curly, unruly prime, it curtains 50% of me from scrutiny.

Scrutiny that I feel but never hear. Scrutiny that I suspect but never confirm.

Glances in my direction are attributed to glaring imperfections. My appearance is like a car accident -- horrific and nauseating and impossible to keep one's eyes off of.

I can't look people in the eye.

I resent feeling as though I cannot leave the house without putting on makeup.

I would like to pull my hair back, it gets itchy when it lays on my face all day, but I don't. I can't. I hide behind my hair.

I hide despite not knowing what exactly it is that I am hiding from.

2 comments:

Plantation said...

Aly,

You've lost me although I'm still fairly new around here. I know you said you don't know what you're hiding from. But man, you are really beating yourself up here. I wish I knew why? Can you give me some insight? You can take it offline, if you wish, OK?

Concerned PT

Plantation said...

SHEESH, have I caught up already???

 
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