Friday, February 27, 2015

Thanks, February

I wouldn't label February a monumentally successful or especially enjoyable month. But earlier this week, I scrolled back to a blog post I wrote last month and, yep: February has definitely been better.

Or it might just be that I'm in a better place.

January was just one long and drawn-out bummer. I was uncharacteristically sad. I was unmotivated. I had nothing in my tank; I spent all of January running on fumes.

Then February came and I started to feel better. Maybe it was just because I didn't have time to feel so sorry for myself. The month kicked off with my attendance at the birth of Heather's son and, later that same day, I officially adopted Brady the Dog. February has been a hectic month and, largely, a good month. I'm getting more exercise. I have more motivation. I don't feel like I'm walking around with a cinder block tied to my ankle.

And I am just so appreciative.

Feeling okay can feel really, really great.

Thursday, February 26, 2015


A few weeks ago, I was mindlessly scrolling through F'book while sitting on hold at work.

One of my F'book friends, a babysitter Meg and I had as a kid who still lives nearby, posted something about her recent knee surgery. And, just as I was scrolling through, my dad's mistress made a comment on it.

(Back story for those of you who weren't reading in 2010: my dad had an affair. I was the one who figured it out. It was awful.)

I didn't know that I even remembered her name but I remembered her name. It stood out immediately. As did several expletives. 

I texted my sister, Meg, to tell her about the coincidence and to suggest that maybe I would write my own comment. Just, you know, so she knows that we still exist. Just because I could.

Meg's response was a very simple "why not?" It was all the encouragement I needed.

I was shaking with laughter as I posted "Small world! I know Mistress, too! ;)" and, shortly thereafter, Meg did the same.

Mistress had our babysitter delete both comments.

Meg and I later confessed to our mom. She laughed. And apparently told my dad about it.

Normally, I'm all about being the bigger person. But this was pretty harmless. And sometimes it feels good to be a dick.

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

The Anxiety Family

I am anxious today. I can't figure out why. Everything is pretty chill. I'm not feeling worked up about anything. But I also feel a little bit like I'm going to explode.

That probably doesn't make any sense. 

But it's like my head knows that I don't need to be on high alert about anything but my body does not. I'm just sitting in my office, plodding through a normal workday, feeling a little bit like I am on a tight deadline/in the midst of a conflict/otherwise out of control of my situation. 

It's really unpleasant and I do not recommend it. 

Related but not because I'm ganking his pills: Brady the Dog has a prescription for Xanax. He's that anxious. 

His anxiety is likely magnified because he's not quite settled in yet. But I think that the anxiety is just be part of his general demeanor. It's how he was wired. Loud noises bother him. Fast movement startles him. He's nervous. 

Which is okay. There are worse things than an anxious dog who will probably to turn out to be a little-less-anxious dog. 

I just think of it as proof that we're meant to be together. 

He, worrying every time that I leave the room. Me, worrying about him worrying about me leaving the room.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015


My nails are currently polished which is a sure sign that my life is feeling a little more under control than it has in the last month or so.

When life gets hectic, painting my nails is the first thing to go. I like to have my nails polished, yes, but the time. First, there's the removal of the last polish. Then the application of the new polish. Then I have to sit around long enough to not trash them? Fuck it. I don't want polished nails that badly. (Nor do I want them painted badly enough to pay to have them done on a regular basis but that's another post for another day.)

The next to go is usually leg shaving because: blonde. Just don't get too close.

When I'm super busy, I also tend to be horrible about bringing food to work. Then I spend time that I don't have running out to procure nourishment. It's a thankless cycle. Plus unhealthy. Plus expensive.

And then there's the act of putting away my laundry. When I have a lot going on, I can manage to do my laundry. I can manage to fold my laundry. Can I get my laundry from the top of my dresser into a drawer? Absolutely not. I cannot spare the four minutes to complete the task.

Confession time: what do you slack on when you're really busy that you're good about otherwise?

Monday, February 23, 2015

Looking Forward

Last weekend, I mustered up the nerve necessary to buy myself a Valentine's Day present that I had been eying since the beginning of the year: an entry in a half-marathon.

Romantic, right? But who else was going to give me the Valentine's gift of 13.1 miles through my favorite city? Treat yo self. 

I am excited. It's easy to be excited now, nearly eight months before the race. Sure, my knee is still wonky. Sure, I'm not running at all* at the moment. Sure, there will be posts where I moan about my lack of training (insert Jessie Spano here: "No time! There's never any time!") and the trials and tribulations of finding the perfect new outfit for that brisk October morning.

But it's going to be fun.

It's going to be so fun, you guys. 

Sorry about being an Obnoxious Running Enthusiast, but I seriously can't help myself. I am fired up to run this race. In eight months. (You'll notice that I'm not clamoring to register for any races before then.)

Last summer's knee injury took plenty from me (mostly my money, my trust in the American healthcare system and my fitness level), but it did give me something: appreciation. Sitting out last year gives me a whole new appreciation for what I can do. And hopefully some appreciation for what I can't do, too. I'm not gunning for a PR. But finishing the race? Finishing I can do.

*Exercise lately: stepper, rower, soccer, hockey. And the steam room. The steam room is at the gym so it totally counts.

Friday, February 20, 2015


One of these days, I'm going to get my act together and do a full tour of my condo.

Today isn't that day, so how about I just show you my newest project?

Vintage travel posters for the previously very empty walls of my living room. I bought them on Etsy. I think that they're great.

Anybody else tackle any great home improvement or decorating projects lately? I'm starting to get towards the bottom of my to-do list. Inspire me.

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

The Dog Mom Update #2

Turns out that being a dog mom isn't easy.

Okay, yes, I knew when I started considering adopting Brady the Dog that this wasn't going to be like buying a stuffed animal. And it's been great, it really has, but we are absolutely still adjusting.

What hasn't helped is my schedule. Somehow I adopted a dog just as I launched into the busiest two months I've had in quite some time. Somehow I also adopted a dog who isn't accustomed to being alone. Somehow we're going to figure this out.

I probably don't give enough credit to the routine we've built. I mean, it's only been 2.5 weeks. He knows when he's going to have breakfast and that he's not allowed on the bed and that I'm his human. He knows where his bed is and that I'm going to make him sit before I put on his leash.

In other ways, we're still working through our new relationship. He's still marking when he's at my mom and dad's house, a problem that I think will go away when he's more comfortable but every time I think he's getting more comfortable, he pees just to prove me wrong. The weather sucks so bad and it's keeping me from getting him as much exercise as I would prefer. And, most frustrating, we're still not at the point where I'm comfortable leaving him alone.

Thankfully my parents are awesome and understanding (even of the pee -- they are saints) and Brady the Dog has spent every workday over there since I got him. Plus too many evenings when I was playing hockey or at some meeting or out with Lucy. My schedule is going to need some serious adjustment going forward.

He'll get there. I know he'll get there. He is a sweet, sweet dog. I am lucky to have him.

One day, soon, we're going to figure each other out.
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